I have feelings about things and stuff.

This is my attitude these days.  If you were so inclined and had the Googling skills, you might dig out my old Vox blog (may Vox rest in peace) and find a very different take on life. Mostly I handled trouble with CONSTANT WHINING. And yet I sure had plenty of people reading it, so that’s interesting.

But that was back before I ever had real problems to deal with. And of course I was young and stupid. (As opposed to what I am now: not as young and stupid.) Since then, I’ve learned a few things. Here are some of those things.

1) People are lazy and prefer a list to in-depth analysis.

2) Some of my problems are not very important. I am just self-centered.

3) Some of my problems are indeed valid. I need value myself more.

4) No matter what the problem is, giving up ain’t gonna solve anything.

 Nothing really specific motivated this turnaround. I’ve been living on my own for a year now (more on that later) and that surely has helped. I’m definitely the kind of person that won’t apply their full potential unless forced to. I’m the bird that probably should have been kicked out of the nest, the student that waited until the last day to start the assignment. This isn’t a good trait to have.

For about a month I have been in full combat mode. I’m always working on something, whether it’s art, writing, cleaning, exercise, training monkeys to act out Shakespeare plays. I don’t have time to feel bad for myself.

I also don’t have time to play video games much which is KIND OF sad but not really, in the big scheme of things. If I gave it any real thought I might suddenly become aware of how much potential life I have wasted helping Mario save the princess but I’m gonna spare my sanity and just not do that.

Lately I’ve had some minor victories and a slew of continued losses. My job situation isn’t any better, but I’m feel immensely more content about it. It is what it is and I’m going to make the best of it until I can move on.

Some stressful stuff going on with the family but we’re getting through it together, and are probably in a better place than we have been in years.

I’ve been planning fun social events at my house, even though it’s usually all my sister’s friends that show up. Mostly because all my friends are my sister’s friends.  Oh sure I try to invite folk outside of the group but I get few takers. (Then I ask if they got the invite they respond by apologizing for not responding to said invite. GUESS THAT’S YOUR ANSWER THEN?) But I’m getting off topic. I need to meet more people outside of work.

Also: Ladies. I don’t get you.

THE POINT IS, is…man, what was the point? Growing up is the point, I guess. Peter Pan LIED to us. He made it sound like you had to be BORING when you grew up. Maybe that’s a British rule but here in America it means I can still act like a kid but I get to drive myself places, put up giant art I made on my walls, and play video games (when I have the time) at all hours of the day. But that’s only if you take care of the grown up stuff too. This is what I’m slowly learning. For me it’s always been a struggle to tell the difference between wants and needs, and lately the differences have been dwindling. If I can take care of myself, and take care of business, everything else should follow. This Dr. Seuss quote has become my battle cry.

 A good example to wrap up with: Back in December I was probably at my least healthy and heaviest. What the heck, Seth?! But since then I’ve lost 10 pounds, and only recently have I started trying to lost weight again. Right now I’m back to square one, the weight where I started to work out the first time around a couple years back. Yeah, I gave up for a while. Yeah, I have to start all over again. But this time I’m going to get it right.



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