In which Seth learns a thing or two.

Aside: My old blog, which was hosted on the late Vox may it rest in peace had post titles that were usually hilarious, featuring alliteration and the randomly chosen quirk of a capitalized first word and last word. And yet here I can’t think of anything clever to do. It’s…well it’s simply not like me. Maybe you have a suggestion?

Anyway.

Today I was talking with Nicole. About important things. Things that matter. Things about me. Specifically how little money I will need to get an apartment. As it turns out, not much! I wanted to know about all the costs there might be that aren’t listed and up front. What I did not expect is that I will have to set up the likes of electricity and gas myself. As in, interact with people so I can have light and heat.

I’m sure this isn’t news to most people, but I’ve lived in a home with two yards and landlords that feed me. For over 25 years! (also known as:My Life). I had a vague idea that when you move into a vacant house those sort of things need to be hooked up. After all if you left your empty house plugged in to the grid hobos could use it to steal free light, or they might explode randomly from gas leaks. (I also have very little understanding of how “gas” works. I assume it’s all in thin pipes that are in the most flammable parts of the wall, ready to explode at the first sign of an action movie scene). But an apartment? It’s just like a really big house with several rooms! Why would they turn the power off for a few rooms?

Anyway, this is exactly why I need to move out. I’m not getting any younger and I sure aint getting any smarter. You see, I know quite a bit about quite a bit, but little of it seems to have bearing on this strange frontier of adulthood. And since someone should profit from my idiocy, I’m going to be posting updates the next month or so about my grown up education. So like my family* reacted when I shockingly echoed the doctor’s words “There’s going to be a SCAR?” shortly before my knee surgery, you too can laugh at my complete lack of comprehension of the world around me.

*Heartless fiends

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