On a scale of 1-10, where “one” is “crocodile” and 10 is “alien zygote”, I’d say this guy is about a solid 5. But at least the kids know it’s a crocodile. Well except for the one that called it a “spider”.

Five little crocodiles feeling really bored.
One fell asleep and that left four

Four little crocodiles snapping monkeys off a tree
one sprained his jaw and that left three

Three little crocodiles playing with some glue
one got stuck to the ceiling and that left two

Two little crocodiles snacking on some chum
one got a stomach ache and that left one

One little crocodile feeling lonely and glum
he went back home to his family and that left none

Not all the lines flow so well. But try imagining a croc gluing himself to a ceiling and you’ll soon forget the poor writing.

Haha. How did he even get up there?

For books I’d suggest A Girl and Her Gator and For Pete’s Sake. For other alligator/croc books I’ve used check out my Shelfari shelf under the Alligators tag. (although since I’m in the progress of cleaning up my tags I’ll be adding more books soon)

My sister said she was going out with some friends. Sounded like it might be kind of fun. Part of my new point of view is doing things. This means I’m not going to immediately disregard social opportunities. But on the other hand, I could stay at home and relax for once. Get things done. Read a book. I went with that.

The night started out with a frozen potpie. I know! Not that healthy! But I justified it by wanting to eat a potpie. I read a book while it cooked in the oven. An hour later, it was done! I think. No, that didn’t look quite right. So I put it back in the oven for a few more minutes. Then a lot more minutes. Then I actually tried it and realized that it was one of the most disgusting things I have ever eaten. Note: do not eat Boston Market frozen potpies. They taste like rat pee.

I was then presented with more options. The wise option would be to cook a healthy meal at home. But I had already waited an hour and was freaking hungry. I could grab something from Sonic, but that would require putting pants back on. And I didn’t need to spend money on unhealthy food.  Would I give in to my lazy urges and get a mediocre burger and milkshake, or stay at home and cook a much healthier if less exciting grilled salmon burger with just a touch of honey. I relented. I closed the front door and, my taste buds defeated, opened the freezer.

And found, stuffed in the back under bags of vegetables and meatless burger patties, a bag of bbq flavored chicken bites.

So my night was spent, not reading or painting while listening to classical music. Nor was it hanging out with my friends at an organic restaurant followed by a live folk band. It wasn’t even spent sipping down a Sonic shake chowing down on tater tots while I worked on a chapter revision. It was spent watching season one of 30 Rock on Netflix while eating Tyson: Any’tizers® with chopsticks.

I could have made better decisions is what I’m trying to say.

I like to make metaphors out of music. Music is easily accessible and complex, so I get a lot of options when comparing problems to it. As a hypothetical*, say you are playing an improvised solo in a jazz piece. You volunteered for it, to your instant regret. It starts out alright but you quickly realize you’ve lost your place. You panic. The point of jazz solos are to make it up as you go along but you begin to turn free flowing expression into stuttering chaos. Finally you’re at the end and you sit down in relief. But everyone is staring at you. Your friend whispers “It’s not over yet. You had twelve more bars.” You now have two options.

Option 1) Sit in shame for what will feel like an excruciatingly long time while the drums and bass guitar keep the beat to silence. You’ve embarrassed everyone enough and deserve to wave your white flag.

Option 2) Stand back up and butcher that song some more.

In this example you are you and the jazz solo is this thing called LIFE. When we screw up it’s easy to sit things out for a while while we recover our dignity. That is fine and all, but you’ve then wasted a whole 12 bars of music you could have been making AWESOME**.

For a few years there I was waving a white flag. I didn’t do much. Life was a road trip and I was ready to sell the car and settle down in a small, dying town in Nebraska and get a job as a short order cook***. Once in a while, I would get my hopes up. I applied for some jobs and never got called. I looked into finishing my degree at a different college and found out that only a single art history class would transfer. My family had issues, my health was at the lowest, and I got one or two new cracks in my heart through misuse. I was feeling pretty bad for myself.

And then I stopped feeling bad for myself!

Not much has changed in my life. I’m still lacking a college education, my family has overcome some major problems while picking up new ones, the Wii Fit board still cheerfully calls me “obese”, and I’ve still avoided taking my heart in for regular maintenance. It needs a rotation and oil change AT LEAST.

What I have started doing is ignoring my failures. They are life lessons, not imaginary obstacles barring me from my future. For almost a year I’ve been living on my own. I have a couple months left on my lease, and I have to ask myself: Did I use my time wisely? Hell no! Most of that was probably spent playing video games and eating fast food. AND YET. The past month or so has been different. I’ve started writing. I’ve started making things. More recently I’ve begun to work out and eat healthier. Last week I cleaned my oven. I feel bad I haven’t been getting back into photography. I’m disappointed that my jobs still suck and that I wasted so much time that, even starting over, I could have had my college degree by now.

Oh well. The progress I’ve made this year isn’t easily measured. In 2011 I didn’t make my life visibly better but I’ve begun to see things more clearly. I can appreciate what I did wrong and understand what I can do to make things right.

In 2011 I’ve become a friggin’ grown up****.

*This is actually the true story of the last jazz solo I ever played. I went with Option 2 and never looked back.
**It was not awesome. It was a train wreck.
***Actually this is by no means a bad Plan “B”
****Drop mic. Walk out.

And they tell me “A hat!”. Well, I saw that coming so I just flip it around and ask “Ok but what is this?”

And in return I got a bunch of  ”ohhhhhhh”s.

This entire thing was a last minute creation made the night before a storytime when I had no flannel board planned.

5 Little Spaceships exploring Earth on a tour.

     One forgot it’s passport so that left four.

4 Little Spaceships diving in the sea.

   One sprung a leak and then there were three.

3 Little Spaceships visiting the zoo.

   One got eaten by a hippo so then there were two.

2 Little Spaceships eating burgers in a bun.

   One forgot his wallet so that left one.

One Little Spaceship ready to go home.

   He shot off into space and then there were none.

I think my favorite is the image of a tiny spaceship getting eaten by a hippo. But the idea of tiny spaceships eating burgers reminds me of Batteries Not Included so that makes me happy too.

This craft is crazy easy and also a STROKE OF BRILLIANCE, I SAY. Although a small part of me wonders if I got the idea somewhere on the internet and then forgot? But it’s such a very small part of me and the rest of my brain usually bullies it into shutting up and knowing its place. And stealing its lunch money.

For this find a naked zebra on the internet. Or make your own (which normally I would have done but I was pressed for time). Cut out approximately one million black paper strips. They don’t have to be the same size or even even, for the most part. Hand out 2-3 strips for each zebra and let the kids tear them up to size and glue them on. It’s that simple! Also it looks like Nik at some point gave the kids crayons and had them draw a background too.

That is either a small tree or a huge zebra.

Edit: Nicole tells me that Sarah made it! In that case it is a beautiful tiny tree bush.

Exciting.

While of course the primary use of this is for any storytime where I read Not Norman, it’s good to use with any fish and/or pet themed storytime. Another fun book I like to use with called DogFish by Gillian Shields. Like Not Norman it’s about a kid stuck with a goldfish when he’d rather have a dog. But instead of accepting him for the great fish he is, this boy falls into a pit of delusion wherein he pretends that he can do anything with a fish that he could do with a dog. Also I think it has a single mother so y’know, EDGY.

  Five Little Piggies sailing to the shore
        One fell overboard and that left four
    Four Little Piggies swimming in the sea
        One got a cramp and that left three
    Three Little Piggies searching for something new
        One found some treasure and that left two
    Two Little Piggies hiking in the sun
        One got too tired and that left one
    One Little Piggy had enough fun
        He sailed back home and that left none.

Apparently these are pirate pigs. I should give them costumes to match!

Also: one of these days I won’t be able to resist rhyming “three” with “pee”.

 An elephant finds a strange umbrella like object (spoiler! It’s an umbrella) and does not know what to do with it. He and his animal friends try to figure out what it could be best used for without much success, until it rains. So for the craft the kids get a die cut elephant and umbrella and a blank piece of paper. Their job is to guess what the elephant might use an umbrella for.

Mine is using the umbrella like a shovel.  Can you….dig it?

Seriously. What is going on here? I have no idea.

The best I can recall is Nicole suggested I base it off of some book which I also don’t remember. There were zoo animals on a train? With counting? Anyway I didn’t like the book so I did this  instead.

The way this works, maybe, is a more elaborate version of my Not Norman flannel board.  

I have all the animals hidden, take off a circle, ask the kids what animal it is, what color it is, and then…somehow I tie in the number. The colors match the animal so order is important. May be important. Since I’m not really sure how it was SUPPOSED to work there’s some flexibility.

 I’ll probably make more (better defined) flannel boards based off of this concept. As I said before, the kids love anything that is similar to Little Mouse.

Anyway.

It’s a super simple set up. Random animals all behind fish bowls. I put Norman at the end and then go through from the top, asking “Is THIS Norman? No? What is it? What color is it?” and any kind of variation of that.

You could say this is a Little Mouse rehash but SO WHAT Little Mouse is the best part of any storytime.

Hmm I should hide Little Mouse behind a fish bowl sometime.