Nowhere to go but up

So the last post, which I just posted, might make it seem I’ve got everything in control. But not really, that’s not the point. The point is I recognize bad days but no longer allow them to set the tone of my life. Take last night, for instance.

My sister said she was going out with some friends. Sounded like it might be kind of fun. Part of my new point of view is doing things. This means I’m not going to immediately disregard social opportunities. But on the other hand, I could stay at home and relax for once. Get things done. Read a book. I went with that.

The night started out with a frozen potpie. I know! Not that healthy! But I justified it by wanting to eat a potpie. I read a book while it cooked in the oven. An hour later, it was done! I think. No, that didn’t look quite right. So I put it back in the oven for a few more minutes. Then a lot more minutes. Then I actually tried it and realized that it was one of the most disgusting things I have ever eaten. Note: do not eat Boston Market frozen potpies. They taste like rat pee.

I was then presented with more options. The wise option would be to cook a healthy meal at home. But I had already waited an hour and was freaking hungry. I could grab something from Sonic, but that would require putting pants back on. And I didn’t need to spend money on unhealthy food.  Would I give in to my lazy urges and get a mediocre burger and milkshake, or stay at home and cook a much healthier if less exciting grilled salmon burger with just a touch of honey. I relented. I closed the front door and, my taste buds defeated, opened the freezer.

And found, stuffed in the back under bags of vegetables and meatless burger patties, a bag of bbq flavored chicken bites.

So my night was spent, not reading or painting while listening to classical music. Nor was it hanging out with my friends at an organic restaurant followed by a live folk band. It wasn’t even spent sipping down a Sonic shake chowing down on tater tots while I worked on a chapter revision. It was spent watching season one of 30 Rock on Netflix while eating Tyson: Any’tizers® with chopsticks.

I could have made better decisions is what I’m trying to say.

So Anyway

Do you like music? Of course you do! Who doesn’t like music? Terrible people, that’s who. Or people with brain damage that are incapable of appreciating wonderful things like music. They might still be terrible people but not necessarily. There’s a name for that kind of logical argument but we aren’t here to discuss logic.Obviously.

I like to make metaphors out of music. Music is easily accessible and complex, so I get a lot of options when comparing problems to it. As a hypothetical*, say you are playing an improvised solo in a jazz piece. You volunteered for it, to your instant regret. It starts out alright but you quickly realize you’ve lost your place. You panic. The point of jazz solos are to make it up as you go along but you begin to turn free flowing expression into stuttering chaos. Finally you’re at the end and you sit down in relief. But everyone is staring at you. Your friend whispers “It’s not over yet. You had twelve more bars.” You now have two options.

Option 1) Sit in shame for what will feel like an excruciatingly long time while the drums and bass guitar keep the beat to silence. You’ve embarrassed everyone enough and deserve to wave your white flag.

Option 2) Stand back up and butcher that song some more.

In this example you are you and the jazz solo is this thing called LIFE. When we screw up it’s easy to sit things out for a while while we recover our dignity. That is fine and all, but you’ve then wasted a whole 12 bars of music you could have been making AWESOME**.

For a few years there I was waving a white flag. I didn’t do much. Life was a road trip and I was ready to sell the car and settle down in a small, dying town in Nebraska and get a job as a short order cook***. Once in a while, I would get my hopes up. I applied for some jobs and never got called. I looked into finishing my degree at a different college and found out that only a single art history class would transfer. My family had issues, my health was at the lowest, and I got one or two new cracks in my heart through misuse. I was feeling pretty bad for myself.

And then I stopped feeling bad for myself!

Not much has changed in my life. I’m still lacking a college education, my family has overcome some major problems while picking up new ones, the Wii Fit board still cheerfully calls me “obese”, and I’ve still avoided taking my heart in for regular maintenance. It needs a rotation and oil change AT LEAST.

What I have started doing is ignoring my failures. They are life lessons, not imaginary obstacles barring me from my future. For almost a year I’ve been living on my own. I have a couple months left on my lease, and I have to ask myself: Did I use my time wisely? Hell no! Most of that was probably spent playing video games and eating fast food. AND YET. The past month or so has been different. I’ve started writing. I’ve started making things. More recently I’ve begun to work out and eat healthier. Last week I cleaned my oven. I feel bad I haven’t been getting back into photography. I’m disappointed that my jobs still suck and that I wasted so much time that, even starting over, I could have had my college degree by now.

Oh well. The progress I’ve made this year isn’t easily measured. In 2011 I didn’t make my life visibly better but I’ve begun to see things more clearly. I can appreciate what I did wrong and understand what I can do to make things right.

In 2011 I’ve become a friggin’ grown up****.

*This is actually the true story of the last jazz solo I ever played. I went with Option 2 and never looked back.
**It was not awesome. It was a train wreck.
***Actually this is by no means a bad Plan “B”
****Drop mic. Walk out.

#FlannelFriday Five Little Spaceships

So I says to the kids, “What is this?”

And they tell me “A hat!”. Well, I saw that coming so I just flip it around and ask “Ok but what is this?”

And in return I got a bunch of  ”ohhhhhhh”s.

This entire thing was a last minute creation made the night before a storytime when I had no flannel board planned.

5 Little Spaceships exploring Earth on a tour.

     One forgot it’s passport so that left four.

4 Little Spaceships diving in the sea.

   One sprung a leak and then there were three.

3 Little Spaceships visiting the zoo.

   One got eaten by a hippo so then there were two.

2 Little Spaceships eating burgers in a bun.

   One forgot his wallet so that left one.

One Little Spaceship ready to go home.

   He shot off into space and then there were none.

I think my favorite is the image of a tiny spaceship getting eaten by a hippo. But the idea of tiny spaceships eating burgers reminds me of Batteries Not Included so that makes me happy too.

Storytime Craft: Zebra

ZEBRAS! They’e like smaller horses that have recently escaped an olde timey jail. What’s not to love?

This craft is crazy easy and also a STROKE OF BRILLIANCE, I SAY. Although a small part of me wonders if I got the idea somewhere on the internet and then forgot? But it’s such a very small part of me and the rest of my brain usually bullies it into shutting up and knowing its place. And stealing its lunch money.

For this find a naked zebra on the internet. Or make your own (which normally I would have done but I was pressed for time). Cut out approximately one million black paper strips. They don’t have to be the same size or even even, for the most part. Hand out 2-3 strips for each zebra and let the kids tear them up to size and glue them on. It’s that simple! Also it looks like Nik at some point gave the kids crayons and had them draw a background too.

That is either a small tree or a huge zebra.

Edit: Nicole tells me that Sarah made it! In that case it is a beautiful tiny tree bush.

Storytime Craft: Not Norman/Fishbowl

I don’t have an example on hand so here’s an incomplete basic concept of my Not Norman/Fishbowl craft. Just had glue and crayons.

Exciting.

While of course the primary use of this is for any storytime where I read Not Norman, it’s good to use with any fish and/or pet themed storytime. Another fun book I like to use with called DogFish by Gillian Shields. Like Not Norman it’s about a kid stuck with a goldfish when he’d rather have a dog. But instead of accepting him for the great fish he is, this boy falls into a pit of delusion wherein he pretends that he can do anything with a fish that he could do with a dog. Also I think it has a single mother so y’know, EDGY.